Oh, don't worry. It's gonna get, um, crack-ier. Just you watch.
Chapter 5: MUNCHKINS!!!
(or, Why Edward Loves Munchkinland)
“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Winry the Good Witch started to sing.
Then, from every crevice, nook, and cranny, from behind every rock, flower, and tree, and out from every cute little building, there peered faces. For Ed and Al, it was undoubtedly one of the creepiest moments of their lives, especially knowing that these things had probably been there all along, watching them.
Winry continued with her singing, and Ed and Al wondered just what that girl was on.
Then all the little faces emerged, revealing short, stumpy bodies. They were dressed in clothes that matched the surroundings: whimsical, cartoonish and colorful. They were all, well, ‘little people’.
When Ed saw them, his jaw dropped. Here were hundreds of people shorter than him! He could hardly believe it. A whole town of short people…
Tears of joy streamed out of his eyes. And…he felt tall!
“So…umm…what’s going on exactly?” Al was still more lost than a polar bear in the desert. A really, really big desert, with no map or compass, or anything like that.*
“You killed the Wicked Witch!” exclaimed one of the Munchkins.
“But…we didn’t kill anybody,” Al said, looking at his brother for confirmation of this fact. Ed was, however, still in rapture over being tall.
“Yes, you did indeed kill the Wicked Witch of the East,” said Winry. “Or rather, your brother did.”
This time Ed actually responded. “Hey, I didn’t kill anybody…today,” he said with an evil smirk.
Al sighed and put his face in his hands. He knew Ed liked to act scary around strangers…but it was still embarrassing.
“But you split apart that water on the train with your alchemy, am I correct?” she wondered.
Ed nodded, wondering just where on earth she was going with this.
She smiled knowingly and continued. “That, my dear, was the Wicked Witch in her ‘water’ form. She has the power to turn her body into water, isn’t that something? She was always causing chaos around here, with the help of a few others…”
The other Munchkins started to sing, in very high-pitched (and annoying) voices, about the Witch’s death. They loaded Ed and Al (with some difficulty) into a carriage that took them into what they assumed was the middle of the town. There they got out and were pushed in front of a building, where some very importantly dressed Munchkins were waiting. The most important one of all declared himself to be the Mayor of the
Well, at least that explains where we are, thought Al.
The Mayor went on to welcome them, but was interrupted by one of the other Munchkins. They were saying something about needing to verify that the Witch was legally, morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.
Just then, a Munchkin wearing outrageous black robes and a hat that boggled the mind approached, with a scroll that said in large, fancy letters, ‘death certificate’. He said that he was the coroner, and the Witch was not merely dead, but really most sincerely dead. Ed and Al exchanged a look, clearly wondering why so many adjectives were necessary, and also why everyone sounded like they were either singing or speaking poetry. Bad poetry.
The Mayor then declared, “This is a day of independence for all Munchkins and their descendants!”
The Munchkins began a reprise of their song from earlier. The brothers exchanged pained expressions. How long would this continue?
That’s all for today. Argh, there’s a bunny in my head, and it sounds just like a Munchkin…